THIS IS A LETTER I SENT TO THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILDRENS SERVICES IN OREGON ABOUT MY TWO GRANDCHILDREN NOW IN ADOPTIVE HOME DISPITE OUR EFFORTS TO GET THEM BACK HOME WITH US.
The end of summer is near and the leaves on the trees are starting to change color. I love autumn and fall. Serenity started kindergarten this September. Missed taking her to buy school clothes. Picking out her pretty dresses and blue jeans. Wanted to help her try on red shoes, they were always her favorite. Picked up her purple hair brush and opened the cabinet drawer looking for her barretts Aunt Heather made by hand. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror just staring into it. Felt like something was missing.
Beautiful sunshine coming through my French doors that led to the patio out back. Out in the yard is Ezra’s green wagon the one he loved so much. Wheeling around and around in the garden we would stop so he could be a big boy and open the wagon door and carefully step out to smell the flowers. He would put his nose right on the petals and giggle after he smelt the sweet fragrance. He loved his wagon. Now something is missing.
Austin, its time to wake up. Time to get ready for school, Time for school he said. First day back I told him. He was very excited. I helped him pick out his new school clothes on a shopping spree at Wal-Mart. Come to breakfast when you are done dressing. I made you your favorite blueberry waffles. He loves my cooking, made him waffles since he was just a toddler. He says he thinks I am the best grandma in the whole world. I just tell him thank you and I love you. He knows something is different, and something is missing.
Trips to the zoo, picnics in the park, walks in the sand, movies and popcorn, hot dog and hamburger barbeque, we still do these things as a family. Only, something is missing.
Halloween coming soon, love to dress up, scare all neighbors, filling bags with candy.. Witches and Goblins, scary music playing outside. Lots of kids this year trick or treating. Handing out M&M’s and boxes of Dots. Dresses up Austin a scary vampire bat. Bought two more costumes but no one to wear. Do I dare say, something is missing.
Now we are sitting and talking sometimes about the holiday’s coming soon. We bought turkey and cranberries and cooked yams and baked pies and thanksgiving was tasty and lots of dishes to do. Two less place setting at the table this year and last. But hope that next year will be more and not less.
Paper and bows, ribbon and boxes all around. Christmas is here and we put up the tree with hand made ornaments, card and hung stocking on the mantel. Austin cashed in the money in his piggy bank to buy some small gifts. We wrapped and we taped all the gifts we bought and drank eggnog and ate Christmas cookies and peanut brittle. Decided to put the presents under the tree even if we will have to put Serenity’s and Ezra’s up till next year. Austin asked if they’re coming, I just told him I don’t know it’s unclear. Something is different it certainly is, something is missing.
Nothing is certain but one thing is clear that what has happened should not happen this year. The children are lost and something is missing. Do you know what that is? Do you know where they are? Can you tell that we miss them and wish they were here?